FRIENDSHIP QUIZ
1. Do you "save" topics of conversation for your friend because you feel they understand you better?
2. Have you shared spousal difficulties with this friend under the guise of wanting to understand your spouse better?
3. Has your friend shared difficulties they are having with their relationship(s)?
4. Do you find yourself looking forward to seeing your friend more than you look forward to seeing your spouse?
5. Do you find yourself comparing your spouse to this friend?
6. Are you providing special and thoughtful treats, cards, for your friend?
7. Are you checking on your friend's welfare more frequently and with more concern than you check on the welfare of your spouse?
8. Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to be married to this friend?
9. Are you spending more focused alone time with your friend than you spend similar time with your spouse?
10. Are you comfortable letting your spouse review all of your telephone interactions, email, text messages and voicemails?
11. Are you spending money on your friendship for lunches, gifts, coffees, that your spouse is unaware of?
12. Are you and your spouse in conflict over this friendship?
13. Do you find yourself lying or manipulating the truth in order to spend more time with this friend?
14. Are you hiding receipts, cell phone bills, mail, gifts and time spent with your friend from your spouse?
15. Have you ever gotten angry or accused your spouse of jealousy when the topic of this friendship has been brought up between the two of you?
16. Have you developed specific rituals, practices and places with your friend?
17. Has your friend shared feelings for you or touched you in a way that created a shiver of infatuation in you?
18. Has any of the conversations with your friend had sexual or erotic content in them?
19. Do you do the following with this friend:
a) travel
b) go to entertainment venues
c) drink alcohol
d) eat expensive meals
e) return to the same hotel
© By David Carder
Material taken from, Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage
Moody Press (Winter 2008)
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